Kata Bijak Cinta

Senyum adalah jarak yang terdekat antara dua manusia

Cinta mengenal kata ketulusan, karena hakikat cinta itu tidak mengenal paksaan untuk selalu memiliki

Tidak usah kau janjikan bulan dan bintang di pangkuanku, cukup kau tepati saja untuk tetap bersamaku di bawah cahayanya

Kesetiaan seorang pria terhadap pasangannya diuji saat si pria berada di TITIK TERTINGGI dalam kehidupannya

Persahabatan sering berakhir dengan cinta, namun cinta tidak pernah berakhir dengan persahabatan

Aku tdk pernah gagal 900x tapi aku berhasil menemukan 900 cara untuk mematikan lampu -Edison-

Mata yg lapar lbh b'bahaya drpda perut yg lapar,perut bila sdh kenyang akan berhenti makan,mata sekali diberi makan akan terus merasa lapar.

Kecantikan batin akan memudahkanmu menghadapi musibah,kecantikan jiwa akan memudahkanmu menggapai segala keinginan

Semakin sering kau bicarakan&membangakan diri sendiri,itu mrpkan bukti bhw engkau tdk percaya diri

Buah pengkhianatan adalah kepahitan,dan orang yg pertama kali yaitu dia yg memakannya

Banyak manusia yg menjadikan angan2nya sebagai penjara yg membuatnya susah bergerak dan membebaskan dirinya

Tertawa,bercanda&bergurau yg berlebihan mrpakan penyakit bagi yh sehat,tetapi kesehatan bg yg sakit

Untuk menangani dirimu, gunakan kepalamu,tapi untuk menangani orang lain,gunakan hatimu

Jangan pernah biarkan rasa sepi membuatmu kembali pada seseorang yg kamu tahu bahwa dia tak pernah ingin bersamamu.

Sesuatu yg berharga, tak didapat dgn mudah. Semakin lama kmu menunggunya, semakin kmu tau bagaimana menghargai saat mendapatkannya.

Jangan tangisi dia yg telah pergi. Jika kamu pernah tersenyum dgn dia yg salah, bayangkan jika kamu bersama dia yg tepat.

Ketika kamu memutuskan tuk menjauhi seseorang dan dia tak mengejarmu, yakinlah, bahwa kamu telah membuat keputusan yg tepat.

Sahabat bukanlah mereka yg menghampirimu ketika mereka butuh, namun mereka yg tetap bersamamu ketika seluruh dunia menjauh.

Mereka yang mengalah bukanlah orang yang lemah, karena sesungguhnya mengalah memerlukan kekuatan yang lebih.

Ketika hal buruk menimpamu, jangan mengeluh. Tuhan pasti mempunyai tujuan. Jalanilah dengan Tabah. Jadilah pribadi yg KUAT.

Jangan takut mencoba hal-hal baru. Jangan takut gagal. Jika kamu tak pernah melakukan kesalahan, kamu tak belajar apapun.

Hidup tak pernah lepas dari masalah, karena masalah adalah salah satu cara Tuhan menjadikanmu pribadi yg lebih kuat dan dewasa.

Jangan pernah kamu tutupi perasaanmu. Karena meskipun mulutmu mampu untuk berkata tidak, matamu tak akan bisa menutupinya.

Lupakan apa yg tak mampu kamu lakukan. Lakukan saja apa yg mampu kamu lakukan, dan Tuhan akan lakukan yg tak bisa kamu lakukan.

Mereka yg bahagia tak memiliki yg terbaik dari segala hal, mereka hanya membuat yg terbaik dari segala hal yg mereka miliki.

Lebih mudah memotivasi orang lain daripada memotivasi diri sendiri, untuk itu kita saling membantu dan berbagi.

Menyangkal itu mudah, menyanggah itu susah. Membangun itu mudah, mempertahankan itu susah.

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Rayuan Bahasa Inggris 2

• See there’s this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It’s the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. *Gretchen Kemp*

• What I feel for you seems less of earth and more of a cloudless heaven. *Victor Hugo*

• I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you. *Roy Croft*

• What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes. *Elizabeth Barret Browning*

• My night has become a sunny dawn because of you. *Ibn Abbad*

• Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. *Sarah Bernhardt*

• I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love. *Henry Ward Beecher*

• I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever. *Rabindranath Tagore*

• Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. *James Bladwin*

• I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. *Kyle Schmidt*

• I become a waterwheel, turning and tasting you, as long as water moves. *Rumi*

• Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart. *Robert Sexton*

• For you see, each day I love you more, Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. *Rosemonde Gerard*

• Here’s my love, take it. Here’s my soul, use it. Here’s my heart, don’t break it. Here’s my hand, hold it and together we will make it forever.

• when I first saw you… I was afraid to meet you… When I first met you… I was afraid to kiss you… When I first kissed you… I was afraid to love you… But now that I love you… I’m afraid to loose you…

• You may never know how important you are to me or how much I care for you, but you are and you will always be. Bear in mind that I couldnt afford to lose someone I’ve learned to care about so much.

• You are my passion, my life, my love. Without you I would have no reason to live. All the stars in the universe could not replace what we have together. I thank you for the love we have and your gentleness. Never forget me, as I will never forget you.

• If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.

• For once in my life, I don’t have to try to be happy, when I’m with you, it just happens… I Love You So Much

• I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you.. How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation; laughing at funny things that you said or did.. I’ve memorized your face & the way that you look at me.. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together & even though nothing will come out of this, I know one thing for sure, for once.. I don’t care, I cherish every moment I have with you”

• It’s You. You mean everything to me… you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up; my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams… when you are sad, I feel sad, and when I see your true smile, I feel incredible, like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.

• Everyday we tell ourselves we’re better off without each other, But then every morning I wake up and realize I love you more then the day before.

• You make me smile for no reason whatsoever, You make me laugh at the unfunniest things, But most of all, you make me love you… When I shouldn’t be loving you.

READMORE - Rayuan Bahasa Inggris 2

Rayuan Bahasa Inggris

Rayuan Kata Cinta dalam Bahasa Inggris. Buat kalian yang pingin variasi dan inovatif buat tunjukkin rasa cinta pada pasangan, apa salahnya sekali-kali mencoba Rayuan Ucapan Kata Cinta Bahasa Inggris. Pasti orang yang kamu cintai dan sayangi akan senang dengan Ungkapan Cinta Bahasa Inggris yang kamu kirim. Oh ya jangan remehkan hal-hal remeh kayak Kata Cinta bahasa Inggris kayak gini, karena justru hal remeh yang gini ini bikin pasangan makin lengket hanya karena Kata-kata Romantis Bahasa Inggris. Berikut beberapa Kata-kata Sayang buat pacar bahasa Inggris ;

Kata Cinta Buat Pacar dalam Bahasa Inggris
You may never know how important you are to me or how much I care for you, but you are and you will always be. Bear in mind that I couldnt afford to lose someone I’ve learned to care about so much.

Here’s my love, take it. Here’s my soul, use it. Here’s my heart, don’t break it. Here’s my hand, hold it and together we will make it forever.

When i first saw yo i was afraid to meet you when i first met you i was afraid to kiss you when i first kissed you i was afraid to love you but now that i love you im afraid to loose you

You are my passion, my life, my love. Without you I would have no reason to live. All the stars in the universe could not replace what we have together. I thank you for the love we have and your gentleness. Never forget me, as I will never forget you.

If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.

I NEVER REALLY KNEW YOU YOU WERE JUST ANOTHER FRIEND BUT WHEN I GOT TO KNOW YOU I LET MY HEART UNBEND I COULDN’T HELP PAST MEMORIES THAT WOULD ONLY MAKE ME CRY I HAD TO FORGET MY FIRST LOVE AND GIVE LOVE ANOTHER TRY SO I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I’LL NEVER LET YOU GO I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING I JUST HAD TO LET YOU KNOW AND IF YOU EVER WONDER WHY I DONT KNOW WHAT I’LL SAY BUT JUST REMEMBER ONE THING I LOVE YOU

I love you, not because of what you have but because of what I feels.. I care for you, not because you need care but because I want to.. I’m always here for you, not because i wan’t you to be with me but because i want to be with you..

I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

You are the sun in my day, the wind in my sky, the waves in my ocean, and the beat in my heart. All my dreams came true the day that I met you. I Love You! You are the sunshine of my life! Thanks for brightening my world with the warmth of your Love… You are the fire that burns the passion within my soul. I love You with all my heart… I want to be your arms, I want to feel your touch, I want your lips on mine, I need you very much.

Every moment spent with you is like a beautiful dream come true… I Love You!

Can i keep you and never let you go? Can i hold your hand and hug you tight? Can i tell the world how lucky i am eo have you in my life? or simply, can you be mine for the rest of my life?..

You have entered my heart… And You’ll be here forever… I Love You!

You are the sun in my day, the wind in my sky, the waves in my ocean and the beat in my heart… I Love You!

Never ask why I love you, just accept that I do, and that I will for the rest of my life.

I loved you once, I love you still, I always have, I always will…

For once in my life, I don’t have to try to BE HAPPY, when I’m with you, it just happens…I LOVE YOU, BABY!!!

It’s not being in love that makes me happy. It’s being in love with you that makes me happy.

Having you in my life… Makes everything so special & beautiful…

When my phone rings.. i’m not sure if it was you.. when someone calls my name.. i’m not sure if it was you.. but one thing for sure.. my heart beats only for YOU..

We always have our ups & downs but we always breakthrough I no how much you love but do you no how much i luv u? I love you more than anything else in this world I hope you know that when i see you m heart beats faster every second i look into ur eyes i think about all the good times between us People think im crazy but they dont know you i just wanted to tell you… I’M CRAZY FOR YOU!!!

I love you in the morning, in the middle of the day, in the hours we are together, and the hours we are away…

I love you with all my heart and you are the one that never let me sleep to my mind down to my soul you touch my lips im all alone without you my days are dark without a glimpse of you but now that you came into my life i feel complete the flowers bloom , the morning shines and i can see your love is like the sun that light up my whole world

I may not be saying this everyday. But i want to Thank You for all that you do! I Love You!

When i think rain, I think about singing. When I think about singing, it’s a heavenly tune. When I think about heaven then I think about angels. When I think about angels, I think about you.

Just when I think that it is impossible to love you any more, you prove me wrong.

It’s not my EAR you whispered into but my HEART!It’s not my LIPS that you kissed,but my SOUL!

If you want to know how much I love you, look into my eyes with your heart open.

I love you for being you and the way you make me feel when I’m with you!

When I looked into your eyes I didnt see just you, I saw my today, my tomorrow, and my future for the rest of my life…I love you!!!

From the day you walked into my life, your all I think about. Your the reason i breathe. You are the stars in my sky. I wouldn’t want this anyother way. Your the love of my life

Explaining to you how much and why I love you would be as simple as explaining and describing to you how water taste, it seems impossiable.

I love you more than any word can say … I love you more than every action I take … I’ll be right here loving you till the end.

A day without you is like a blunt with no weed be here with me every day let us cherrish these beutiful moments and know one thing that i love you.♥♥♥

All my dreams came true the day that I met you. I Love You!

If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever.

I am an angel sent from God above. So, when you’re sad and feeling down and don’t know what to do, just remember that I care for you and love you too.

YOUR’E my drug and im addicted !!

ONCE UPON A TIME SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME IT WAS THE SWEETEST THING THAT EVER COULD BE A FANTASY, A DREAM COME TRUE IT WAS THE DAY I MET YOU…BABE I LOVE YOU

You can count on the sun to rise, for the stars to come out at night, as long as there’s air to breathe, you’ll alway’s be loved by me.”

Before you came to me my world was so dark, at first you were my candle to guide me, my bulb to see, and now you have become my sunlight, you give me warmth and comfort and now I never have to be in the darkness ever again!!! Thank you Trisha Lynn!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

I will love the sun for it warms my soul. I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light, for it shows me the way. But I love you most, for you are my dream come true.

I never thought that Love was true until the day I met you.And when I met you all my dreams came true,so please love me like I love you!

I loved you then as I love you now. I love you now as I always will. I wanted you then as I want you now. I want you now as I always will. I wanted you happy then as I do now. I want you happy now as I always will. I had you then, as I don’t have you now. I don’t have you now, but hope says someday I will.

My love to you is everlasting; it will never grow old and it will never fade away. I will forever love you.


Semoga Ungkapan Cinta buat Pacar dalam Bahasa Inggris bisa bikin kamu makin lengket dengan pacar kamu

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Pepatah Hidup 13

Ketika kamu bertemu seseorang yg mampu membuatmu tersenyum ketika air mata telah jatuh di pipimu, sayangi mereka!

Sampaikan kebenaran dengan cara yang baik, bukan menghina, menyalahkan pun menghakimi orang lain meski mungkin ia memang bersalah.

Hidup dapat mengejutkanmu, dan lebih menakjubkan dan menarik jika kamu mau sedikit membuka pikiranmu.

Jangan biarkan orang lain menjadikan kamu, karena sekali mereka melakukannya, mereka bisa menghancurkan kamu.

Kadang kamu harus akui hari ini tak berjalan seperti yg kamu inginkan, tapi kamu juga harus tahu selalu ada hari esok.

Tak perlu dia yg sempurna, karena yg kamu butuhkan adalah dia yg tahu kekuranganmu, tapi tetap ingin bersamamu.

Selalu ada pelajaran dari setiap masalah. Jika kamu belajar darinya maka masa lalu adalah langkah tuk masa depan.

Tersenyumlah bahkan ketika kamu punya banyak masalah. Jangan biarkan masalah mencuri kebahagiaanmu.

Jangan pernah menyerah pada apa yang kamu anggap benar, meskipun kamu pikir itu sia-sia. Terus berusaha!

Jangan hanya berbagi kesedihan pada sahabatmu, bagikan juga kebahagiaan. Biarkan mereka tahu bahwa mereka berarti.

Dalam cinta, terkadang kamu sengaja menjauhkan dirimu, karena kamu ingin tahu siapa yg punya keberanian tuk mendekatimu.

Cinta yg terbaik adalah yg membuatmu menjadi seseorang yg lebih baik, tanpa mengubahmu menjadi org lain.

Masalah dalam hidup mungkin membuatmu jatuh, tapi selama kamu mampu berdiri kembali, kamu pribadi yg lebih baik saat ini.

" Mereka yang berpikir darinya adalah orang yang paling bahagia, maka adalah benar adanya "

" Kesempatan anda untuk sukses dalam berusaha selalu bisa diukur oleh keyakinan anda pada diri sendiri "

" Setiap kesuksesan hanyalah tiket menuju sebuah amasalah yang lebih sulit "

Keberhasilan tidak berarti "saya menang, kamu kalah" didalam keberhasilan yang sejati, setiap orang adalah pemenang

"Tak ada kesalahan, tak ada kebetulan, segala kejadian adalah berkah yg diberikan bagi kita utk belajar darinya"

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Pria Dilarang Tanya 10 Hal Ini pada Wanita

David DeAngelo, penulis ‘Double Your Dating,’ memberi 10 tips agar pria tidak melakukan kesalahan yang kemudian akan disesalinya dalam berkencan. Apa saja itu?

Pertama, seperti dikutip dari Bullz-Eye.com, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita apakah ia boleh menciumnya atau tidak. Meminta izin untuk menciumnya hanya akan membuat pria terlihat seperti anak-anak di mata wanita, dan hal itu tidak menarik baginya.

Kedua, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita apakah ia dapat mengajaknya berkencan atau tidak. Kebanyakan wanita lebih nyaman bersama pria yang berjiwa layaknya seorang pemimpin, bukan seseorang yang selalu meminta izin untuk melakukan ini atau itu. Lebih baik pria mengajak berkencan dengan berkata penuh percaya diri, “Kita harus ngobrol sesekali. Berapa nomor telponmu?”

Ketiga, pria tidak perlu sesumbar dan pamer tentang mobil yang ia miliki atau jenis rumah yang ditinggalinya. Di mata wanita, hal itu memperlihatkan dengan jelas bahwa pria itu sedang berusaha keras untuk tampil mengesankan di hadapannya. Wanita jauh lebih tertarik dengan pria yang tidak membicarakan harta benda dalam percakapan.

Keempat, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang apa yang ingin ia lakukan malam ini. Wanita menyukai pria yang memiliki rencana. Pria harus punya rencana sebelum mengajak kencan wanita, agar rekan kencannya tidak perlu terbebani dengan harus ikut berpikir tentang apa yang semestinya mereka lakukan untuk menghabiskan waktu bersama.

Kelima, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang apakah ia menyukainya atau tidak. Hal ini umumnya menghilangkan sama sekali ketertarikan wanita kepada pria, karena membuat pria terlihat tidak memiliki kepercayaan diri. Lebih baik berasumsi bahwa si dia suka pada Anda.

Keenam, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang mengapa ia tidak pernah membalas SMS atau e-mail-nya. Hal itu membuat pria terlihat terlalu menuntut di mata wanita. Akibatnya, wanita menjadi merasa tidak aman di dekatnya.

Ketujuh, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang berapa pria yang pernah berkencan dengannya. Hal itu membuat wanita merasa privasinya diganggu.

Kedelapan, pria tidak perlu bertanya tentang kapan kencan yang selanjutnya. Kebanyakan wanita menyukai tantangan, dan dia akan kehilangan minat bila mengetahui si pria juga menyukai dirinya. Pada titik itu, wanita merasa menang, dan hilanglah tantangan yang dicarinya.

Kesembilan, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang langkah atau hal apa yang selanjutnya akan mereka lakukan. Wanita lebih menyukai pria yang agak sulit diduga dan bersikap spontan.

Kesepuluh, pria tidak perlu bertanya kepada wanita tentang keburukan teman si wanita, terutama ketika dia tidak terlalu mengenal temannya itu.

 

http://kosmo.vivanews.com/news/read/210334-pria-dilarang-tanya-10-hal-ini-pada-wanita

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Success In Relationship Can Help You Succeed In Business

Our relationships give us the comfort we need. Our relationships also give us pain. A relationship can work in both the ways and either way it affects our career and business success. Let us see how?

Why Relationships? We relate with someone because otherwise we feel incomplete. We need a person to share our life. We want to talk about our inner thoughts, desires, pains and pleasures with a partner. We feel incomplete without a relationship. That is the primary reason of our relationship.

What does relationship do? A relationship gives us peace and a friend. It helps us beat our loneliness and gives us a partner to share. A relationship gives us somebody who will inspire us at the time of our defeats. 

Relationships and career- If we enjoy a healthy relationship, wefeel good. We feel very optimistic. Our state of mind is positive. We are empowered to fight any odd and dream of great achievements. A good relationship gives us a high that can help us achieve a lot in our business and career. No body can achieve great success if his/her relationship is not good. That is a personal failure and takes away lot of time in thinking and negative mental state. Those who enjoy a healthy and enriching relationship, have a higher chance of enjoying big success in career. 

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Flower Delivery

Over recent years there has been a marked increase in the number of flower shops that are offering flowers and flower arrangements at discount rates over the internet.

Many offer free shipping and most offer some form of discount. It has quickly become one of the most popular forms of flower sales for florists.

Most of these flower shops offer same day delivery within a specified distance from the flower retailer. Discounts are often offered for specials occasions such as Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Christmas Day and also for other personal occasions such as the birth of a baby.

By buying directly from the retailer over the Internet you can be assured of freshness and flower quality, as the reputation of these online retailers can spread quickly over the Internet.

As flowers can make a powerful impression on the person who is receiving them, so too can the service and the quality of the flower retailer and they know that providing good service and prices will help them retain your custom.

Added to this is the fact that there are now so many opportunities for the customer to shop around and get exceptional deals.

Ordering flowers online is so much easier, and more often than not you will have a far greater selection to choose from when dealing with the big flower delivery services.

Flower deliveries can be scheduled for different times of the day adding to the convenience of online ordering. With many different payment options it is as simple as filling out the details, paying with your credit card and your flower delivery will arrive at your desired destination when you determine.

It is very convenient for those occasions when you have forgotten to order on time or you have limited time to arrange flower delivery through your normal channels.

It is possible to arrange for delivery of flowers both nationwide and also worldwide as many of the big flower delivery businesses have branches throughout the world.

The best place to start is with a quick search of the Internet where you can compare what the different flower delivery companies are offering in the form of discounts and delivery times.

There is no longer a problem sending flowers to a loved one anywhere in the world. 

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To End or Not to End Your Relationship

Vanessa, 30 years old, is struggling with whether or not to end her six-year marriage. The answer is not at all clear to her.

Vanessa and Jon have a "good" marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?

The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa's feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.

Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage – Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.

Jon's intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon's choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.

Vanessa, too, has operated with the intent to protect against pain. She has ignored her own feelings and been a "good" wife, submerging her own needs to comply with what Jon wanted. But at some point, she shifted her intent to learning about what is loving to herself, and now she realizes she cannot continue in an emotionally disconnected marriage.

The issues in your relationship may be about emotional distance, lack of passion, sexual problems, constant fighting, emotional abuse, (if there is physical abuse, then you must find a way to leave), or being used financially. There may be control and resistance occurring around many different issues. Yet the underlying issue is a lack of open and caring communication. And open communication only occurs when both people have a deep intention to learn about their feelings, fears, limiting beliefs, and resulting unloving behavior. If one or both people in a relationship are closed to learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.

If you are thinking about leaving your relationship, first think about your own intent. Are you open to learning about your feelings, beliefs and behavior? Or, are you devoted to protecting against pain with anger, withdrawal, resistance or caretaking? Are you avoiding your feelings with substances and activities, or are you opening to learning from your feelings and exploring yourself with a process such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach? The first thing you need to do is deal with your own intent.

Once you are open to learning for a number of months, and really doing your inner work, then re-evaluate your relationship. Has anything changed? Is your partner more or less open to you? Are you talking more and fighting or withdrawing less?

If things are not getting better or are getting worse, then it is time to ask your partner if he or she is willing to do some healing work with you – through counseling, workshops, and reading books together. If your partner refuses to embark on a learning journey with you, then it is clear that this relationship will not change. At this point, you need to either fully accept it as it is or leave it. It will not become the relationship you want it to be unless both of you are open to learning.

If one or both partners remain in the intent to protect, the relationship will not heal. Yet most relationships can be healed when both people are deeply devoted to learning about loving themselves and each other. 

READMORE - To End or Not to End Your Relationship

The Egoistic Friend

What are friends for and how can a friendship be tested? By behaving altruistically, would be the most common answer and by sacrificing one's interests in favour of one's friends. Friendship implies the converse of egoism, both psychologically and ethically. But then we say that the dog is "man's best friend". After all, it is characterized by unconditional love, by unselfish behaviour, by sacrifice, when necessary. Isn't this the epitomeof friendship? Apparently not. On the one hand, the dog's friendship seems to be unaffected by long term calculations of personal benefit. But that is not to say that it is not affected by calculations of a short-term nature. The owner, after all, looks after the dog and is the source of its subsistence and security. People - and dogs - have been known to have sacrificed their lives for less. The dog is selfish - it clings and protects what it regards to be its territory and its property (including - and especially so - the owner). Thus, the first condition, seemingly not satisfied by canine attachment is that it be reasonably unselfish.

There are, however, more important conditions:

1.. For a real friendship to exist - at least one of the friends must be a conscious and intelligent entity, possessed of mentalstates. It can be an individual, or a collective of individuals, but in both cases this requirement will similarly apply. 
2.. There must be a minimal level of identical mental states between the terms of the equation of friendship. A human being cannot be friends with a tree (at least not in the fullest sense of the word). 
3.. The behaviour must not be deterministic, lest it be interpreted as instinct driven. A conscious choice must be involved. This is a very surprising conclusion: the more "reliable", the more "predictable" - the less appreciated. Someone who reacts identically to similar situations, without dedicating a first, let alone a second thought to it - his acts would be depreciated as "automatic responses". 
For a pattern of behaviour to be described as "friendship", these four conditions must be met: diminished egoism, conscious and intelligent agents, identical mental states (allowing for the communication of the friendship) and non-deterministic behaviour, the result of constant decision making.

A friendship can be - and often is - tested in view of these criteria. There is a paradox underlying the very notion of testing a friendship. A real friend would never test his friend's commitment and allegiance. Anyone who puts his friend to a test (deliberately) would hardly qualify as a friend himself. But circumstances can put ALL the members of a friendship, all the individuals (two or more) in the "collective" to a test of friendship. Financial hardship encountered by someone would surely oblige his friends to assist him - even if he himself did not take the initiative and explicitly asked them to do so. It is life that tests the resilience and strength and depth of true friendships - not the friends themselves.

In all the discussions of egoism versus altruism - confusion between self-interest and self-welfare prevails. A person may be urged on to act by his self-interest, which might be detrimental to his (long-term) self-welfare. Some behaviours and actions can satisfy short-term desires, urges, wishes (in short: self-interest) - and yet be self- destructive or otherwise adversely effect the individual's future welfare. (Psychological) Egoism should, therefore, be re-defined as the active pursuit of self- welfare, not of self-interest. Only when the person caters, in a balanced manner, to both his present (self-interest) and his future (self-welfare) interests - can we call him an egoist. Otherwise, if he caters only to his immediate self-interest, seeks to fulfil his desires and disregards the future costs of his behaviour - he is an animal, not an egoist.

Joseph Butler separated the main (motivating) desire from the desire that is self- interest. The latter cannot exist without the former. A person is hungry and this is his desire. His self-interest is, therefore, to eat. But the hunger is directed at eating - not at fulfilling self-interests. Thus, hunger generates self-interest (to eat) but its object is eating. Self-interest is a second order desire that aims to satisfy first order desires (which can also motivate us directly).

This subtle distinction can be applied to disinterested behaviours, acts, which seem to lack a clear self-interest or even a first order desire. Consider why do people contribute to humanitarian causes? There is no self-interest here, even if we account for the global picture (with every possible future event in the life of the contributor). No rich American is likely to find himself starving in Somalia, the target of one such humanitarian aid mission.


But even here the Butler model can be validated. The first order desire of the donator is to avoid anxiety feelings generated by a cognitive dissonance. In the process of socialization we are all exposed to altruistic messages. They are internalized by us (some even to the extent of forming part of the almighty superego, the conscience). In parallel, we assimilate the punishment inflicted upon members of society who are not "social" enough, unwilling to contribute beyond that which is required to satisfy their self interest, selfish or egoistic, non-conformist, "too" individualistic, "too" idiosyncratic or eccentric, etc. Completely not being altruistic is "bad" and as such calls for "punishment". This no longer is an outside judgement, on a case by case basis, with the penalty inflicted by an external moral authority. This comes from the inside: the opprobrium and reproach, the guilt, the punishment (read Kafka). Such impending punishment generates anxiety whenever the person judges himself not to have been altruistically "sufficient". It is to avoid this anxiety or to quell it that a person engages in altruistic acts, the result of his social conditioning. To use the Butler scheme: the first-degree desire is to avoid the agonies of cognitive dissonance and the resulting anxiety. This can be achieved by committing acts of altruism. The second-degree desire is the self-interest to commit altruistic acts in order to satisfy the first-degree desire. No one engages in contributing to the poor because he wants them to be less poor or in famine relief because he does not want others to starve. People do these apparently selfless activities because they do not want to experience that tormenting inner voice and to suffer the acute anxiety, which accompanies it. Altruism is the name that we give to successful indoctrination. The stronger the process of socialization, the stricter the education, the more severely brought up the individual, the grimmer and more constraining his superego - the more of an altruist he is likely to be. Independent people who really feel comfortable with their selves are less likely to exhibit these behaviours.

This is the self-interest of society: altruism enhances the overall level of welfare. It redistributes resources more equitably, it tackles market failures more or less efficiently (progressive tax systems are altruistic), it reduces social pressures and stabilizes both individuals and society. Clearly, the self-interest of society is to make its members limit the pursuit of their own self-interest? There are many opinions and theories. They can be grouped into:

1.. Those who see an inverse relation between the two: the more satisfied the self interests of the individuals comprising a society - the worse off that society will end up. What is meant by "better off" is a different issue but at least the commonsense, intuitive, meaning is clear and begs no explanation. Many religions and strands of moral absolutism espouse this view.
2.. Those who believe that the more satisfied the self-interests of the individuals comprising a society - the better off this society will end up. These are the "hidden hand" theories. Individuals, which strive merely to maximize their utility, their happiness, their returns (profits) - find themselves inadvertently engaged in a colossalendeavour to better their society. This is mostly achieved through the dual mechanisms of market and price. Adam Smith is an example (and other schools of the dismal science).
3.. Those who believe that a delicate balance must exist between the two types of self-interest: the private and the public. While most individuals will be unable to obtain the full satisfaction of their self-interest - it is still conceivable that they will attain most of it. On the other hand, society must not fully tread on individuals' rights to self-fulfilment, wealth accumulation and the pursuit of happiness. So, it must accept less than maximum satisfaction of its self-interest. The optimal mix exists and is, probably, of the minimax type. This is not a zero sum game and society and the individuals comprising it can maximize their worst outcomes.
The French have a saying: "Good bookkeeping - makes for a good friendship". Self-interest, altruism and the interest of society at large are not necessarily incompatible. 

READMORE - The Egoistic Friend

6 Ways To Get Your Ex-Back In 3 Days

We make relationships to enjoy life. Even it 
perhaps a lot of sacrifices to keep a 
relationship and to make it work, many of us 
prefer to make these sacrifices just to have near 
the person we love and like to spend time with. 

Sometimes it happens that a relationship ends 
even that there is still love between the 
partners. This happens when one of the partners 
makes some regular mistakes and has a bad 
behavior towards the other. But usually the one 
who is guilty for ending the relationship are men 
who figures out too late how much it cares about 
the other and wants to change only after lose her. 

There is nothing worst that being dumped by the 
one you love and believed was "the one". Trying 
to get a woman back in to your life is difficult. 
If you lost your true love because of you and 
really want to get her back, don't desperate. 
Your situation is not necessarily hopeless. 

At some point in life, we all lose something that 
we really wish we held on to - in this case, you 
lost your love and you need to get your ex back. 
Getting back together with your lost love is not 
about "getting" them back or even relationship 
repair. It's about wining them back. Winning them 
back implies a few important things semantically. 
It implies effort from your part. 

First off all call her and tell her that you 
really want to see her. If she wants to take 
lunch with you make it so your ex notice that you 
are changed, that you thought about why did she 
leave you and she had right because there are 
many reasons why she left. Apologize sincerely. 

If she doesn't want to talk to you by not picking 
up the phone when you call her, just surprise her 
by waiting in front of the office where she works.


and offer to walk her home when her program in
over. But before assure that she is not having a
boyfriend yet, because it might happen that
someone else is waiting for her so your chance is
ruined.

Act like you just starting dating, make her feel
special. Be honest, and tell her that you still
love her. Use the past to your advantage and let
her know that anyone deserves a second chance,
that things will be different now. Do not stalk
her; she might think that you are very desperate.
Just tell her that you are ready to make your
relationship a priority in your life.

If you can get a date with her, be positive,
laugh and smile. Make her feel good. Subtly touch
her when she's talking. You must raise the level
of attraction between the two of you, if she
still loves you; you know that she has a weakness
towards you.

If she didn't fall into your arms after your date
don't give up. Call her often and just tell her
how you feel. Also you can make something special
for her, like sending flowers and buy her gifts.
Don't forget about anniversary and birthday.

E-mail her and let her know that you are
available any time if she wants to have a date
with you. Also assure her that you don't frequent
another girls and she is the most important for
you.

Be yourself, show her that you don't play games
and your intentions are very serious. Also, don't
be jealous if she had a date with another guy if
she is now ready to get back with you and
renounce to the other guy.

With this ways, a little luck and your personal
charm you can get your girlfriend back faster
than you think. 

READMORE - 6 Ways To Get Your Ex-Back In 3 Days

How To Forget The Past Relationship

The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else.

What happens after a break up?

This depends largely upon the intensity of the earlier relationship. More intense the love, more hurt will result afterthe break up. And if your break up took place because of unfaithfulness of your partner, it will hurt you still more. The memories of time shared will haunt forever. A look at something shared will bring in an avalanche of past memories and will take away your peace in a moment. The past can be very destructive. It kills the person, it kills the present and the future. It can haunt one forever.

How to come out of it?

There are no easy ways out of this. Some of us will never come out of the grief for our lifetime. One method that can help is this. Imagine a reservoir of emotions. Imagine of many reservoirs. In one, you have your longing for the one you lost. In another you store your memories of good times. In yet another you have stored pain that you are suffering from. In this manner imagine of many reservoirs. Till they are emptied, you will not become new. Am i right? What is to be done? Please empty them out. It will take time, in some cases many years, but you can empty them if you really want. Live through all your longing again and empty that reservoir. Similarly cry as much as you can and fell the hurt the lost love has given you. Experience everything fully, suffer from all the pain and try to empty out all that is in yourheart.


The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else.

What happens after a break up?

This depends largely upon the intensity of the earlier relationship. More intense the love, more hurt will result afterthe break up. And if your break up took place because of unfaithfulness of your partner, it will hurt you still more. The memories of time shared will haunt forever. A look at something shared will bring in an avalanche of past memories and will take away your peace in a moment. The past can be very destructive. It kills the person, it kills the present and the future. It can haunt one forever.

How to come out of it?

There are no easy ways out of this. Some of us will never come out of the grief for our lifetime. One method that can help is this. Imagine a reservoir of emotions. Imagine of many reservoirs. In one, you have your longing for the one you lost. In another you store your memories of good times. In yet another you have stored pain that you are suffering from. In this manner imagine of many reservoirs. Till they are emptied, you will not become new. Am i right? What is to be done? Please empty them out. It will take time, in some cases many years, but you can empty them if you really want. Live through all your longing again and empty that reservoir. Similarly cry as much as you can and fell the hurt the lost love has given you. Experience everything fully, suffer from all the pain and try to empty out all that is in yourheart.

READMORE - How To Forget The Past Relationship